My 2021 (writing) resolutions

Since I posted my 2020 resolution reaction post two weeks ago, I thought I should maybe write up my 2021 resolutions. But honestly, I don't think I have any.
I've noticed that I don't do well with setting goals for myself mostly because I forget that I set those goals. Sure, I could put something very generic here like 'write consistantly' but I already know that it will only make me feel bad at some point. Because if I can be fully honest, I haven't written anything other than blog posts and uni assignments this year. Not a single word in one of my novels. I edited one of them a little, but no new words. 
So if my resolution for this year had been to write every day, then I would already feel like a failure. 

2021 is going to be a stressful year for me, I already know that. I'm in the last year of my Bachelor degree which means at some point in 2021 I'm very likely going to have to write my thesis. It means that I will have to decide what to do after my degree. It means I will have to actually finish my f**king degree. Like, if that doesn't sound scary to you then you are a lot stronger than I am. 
So, I need to take a step back in some aspects of my life. I still want to write, don't get me wrong. And I have a lot of ideas now that I edited one of my novels to a point where I'm considering to query. I also thought of a new way to publish the WIP that I'm currently editing. But I am not setting myself a hard goal. 
Because that would mean setting myself up for failure. And it is 2021, I don't need that kind of energy. 

Instead I'm putting it out into the universe that I will find my way this year. I will find the right balance with writing and social media and publishing (?) and marketing and my degree and my mental health and all that stuff. I don't know yet how all of that will look like and what my goals are exactly, but I don't have to. I want to enjoy writing because I love creating new stories. I don't want to push myself into writing every day and feeling bad if I don't. 

This post is quite a mess, but maybe you get where I'm coming from. 

Maybe my goal for 2021 is to chill the f**k out. Let that be my resolution. Hang on...

1. CHILL THE F**K OUT

...there we go. 

Now this feels official. 

If you know me you'll know that I feel this constant pressure of being "too late". That I should be published by now, that I should have finished my degree by now, that I should - that I should - that I should. 

But I'm 21. 22 soon. 

I don't have to have a novel published right now. I (hopefully) have a couple more years to figure all of this out and this year is the year of my degree.

The year for my writing to take off will come. I know it. I have to believe that. 

So, for now I'm hanging in there. Publishing stories to a plattform that has more flaws that I can count and getting less than 5k reads on average. Posting to a blog with less than 1k in total. Not paying any attention to an Instagram account and very little attention to a Twitter account that sometimes fuels my anxiety more than I'd like to admit. 

I guess you could say resolution number 2 is to hang in there. 

2. HANG IN THERE 

Wow, this has actually turned into a list at the end ;) 

Sorry for the ramble, it's nearly midnight, but I couldn't stop typing, so that's something. 
Let me know what your resolutions are or if you take a more laid back approach this year. I think we all need to take a deep breath and stop thinking the only way to spend a day is by being productive. 
Maybe at some point I will make goals for 2021 or maybe I will make a list at the end of the year that shows what I achieved. How about that. Instead of resolutions we only do reflections and list all the amazing things we did.

Anyway, take care and write on, 

Lena 

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